© 2015–2018 by Matthew Olson-Roy.

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If your child has died and come back to haunt you, press 1.

If your child can change into a monster at will, press 2.

If your child cannot control when she or he changes into a monster, press 3.

If your child is not from this planet, press 4.

If your child cannot control his or her appetite for blood, raw meat, or the living, press 5.

For all other inquiries, please press 6 or remain on the line and a PVAMP representative will be with you shortly.

 

"Our Monstrous Family"

I might be...

testing super secret spymobiles
or hanging out with aliens on the exchange planet,
but your e-mail will find me wherever I am. 
 
Just use this form, and I'll get back to you.
 
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